nice guys finish last 3:

I have a fascination with attractiveness, and just people’s faces in general. I always wonder what exactly it is that makes us find someone attractive. I’m always asking my friends who they find attractive, and showing them pictures of people I find and asking their opinion of them. It’s just so interesting how much our tastes vary, and in some cases how they are similar. My friends are also subjected to my intense staring, as I will openly stare at their face and analyze everything about it. It’s definitely one of my favorite pastimes.

I think for me, it started about two and a half years ago. I knew the people I found attractive, but I couldn’t figure out exactly why I found them attractive, I just knew that I did. This bothered me. I wanted to figure out what it was about their face that made them so appealing. Then, everything changed. I began to become very analytical of people’s faces. I would concentrate on every individual part of their face. I began to realize upon doing this that a good portion of the people I found attractive, were becoming unattractive to me. In turn, a lot of people I once found unattractive were now very attractive. I began to discover what I liked in people’s faces. I could explain what made someone appealing to me, or unappealing. I have a love and fascination for beautiful people.

I found this article (that happens to be from word press) about attractiveness. It delves into the scientific reasons for what we find attractive and why, as well as personal accounts from specific people in what they find attractive. I found the article very interesting, but it didn’t really tell me anything I haven’t already heard. I read the word “symmetry” about 50 times. https://thevelvetrocket.com/2008/03/19/what-makes-someone-attractive/

The article addresses the science behind attractiveness, of course a big factor being symmetry. I agree that this is a factor, but there are some very unattractive people with perfectly symmetrical faces. I feel like it is rather just an enhancement to an already attractive face, a bonus. An interesting point brought out was that people are often attracted to others that look like their parents. I have never found anyone attractive that resembles my parents. However, I have found a lot of guys attractive that resemble my brother, which has been mildly disturbing for me. Another interesting thing brought out was that people are attracted to others that resemble themselves. The first time I ever heard something like that was from my friend, Zane. She pointed out that she noticed people were attracted to others that looked like them. I thought that was so interesting, and began to realize she was kind of right. A lot of the women I find beautiful have some features similar to my own, high, prominent cheek bones and full lips. Although, somehow I don’t find myself that attractive, let alone anywhere near as pretty as those girls.

One thing almost all of the women emphasized that they found attractive in a man was confidence and the way they carry themselves. I had actually just been discussing this with one of my friends last week, so I found this particularly interesting. In our discussion, I was trying to figure out why exactly women find confident, asshole-ish men so attractive. I also tried to figure out why I myself found this appealing in guys. It honestly seemed to be this instinctual, sexual thing. This deep, almost inexplicable gravity that these guys have about them. Confidence and self-assuredness makes a man seem more masculine, which is obviously going to make him more sexually appealing. But then, that confidence can seem to be more directly related, like the guy just knows what he’s doing and is capable and ya know, knows how things work.

The very last part of the article is a very sad, pathetic little note: “nice guys finish last…” I couldn’t help but laugh when I read that. I know of very nice and sweet guys that are still good looking. A guy showing that he is caring and emotional is very attractive, as it can be rare for men to display that.  However, I see the author’s point. In relation to the previous paragraph, women find assholes attractive because they’re so confident, usually. I think the asshole guy is likely to pull more women, for temporary flings. And then the nice guy, more likely to find a more permanent woman in his life. Nobody reeeaaally wants to date an asshole, they just want them in their bed for a night. You never look at a nice, sweet looking guy and think about him in a sexual way, it more of just “aw… he’s cute (-: I bet he is so sweet!” But if he looks like an asshole, it’s just kinda like “dam… I bet he could teach me a thing or two…” Think about why a lot of women call guys “daddy” in bed. It’s not because they want to have sex with their father, it’s because they want a man that is super masculine and in charge and knows what he’s doing and strong and makes them feel secure. And that’s how a lot of girls view their father, as a strong sense of security and provision. It’s just all these instinctual desires.

A long time ago, I read this quote, or excerpt perhaps, it was long. I don’t know who or what is was from. I tried to find it again, but with no avail. It was really interesting, I wish I had saved it… I think about it a lot. It was about making lists. Making lists for what we find attractive in someone, for what we want in someone, for what we look for in someone, because we think we know what we want. But it was about how we need to stop making those lists. Because there will never be anybody that will be perfect, there will never be anybody that fits that criteria. We think we know what we want, so we create these lists. But we will never really know what we want, until it’s directly in front of us. You will find yourself craving someone else, despite them not matching up to your lists. When you begin to find that you want a particular person, they become the list. What you want in someone else, is everything that that one person is. When you start think about everything you like in a partner, you find it describes that person, flaws and all. I make lists, but never have I ever found someone that fits those lists, nor do I think I ever will. So stop making lists, because there is nobody that will ever exactly be what you think you want.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s